You talk to a girl. You find out that you have common interests and successfully get her number. You are ecstatic, but also worried that you might say the wrong things. After a few days of insomnia, you finally have the courage to dial her number, only to hang up at the last minute.
You’ve experienced this, right? You know your speech and comprehension skills are excellent. But when it comes to this girl, you suddenly get the butterflies and make an excuse to go to the loo.
Here are some things to consider before calling:
1. Plan your call. In your mind, try to simulate how the call would go. Look in the mirror, pace the floor or do whatever it is that gets your goat. The important thing is to lessen, if not eliminate, awkward pauses. Remember, a number of long silences would eventually hinder your quest to ask her out as she will doubt your skills as a good conversationalist – something we definitely don’t want to happen.
2. Think of a topic of interest for both of you, especially if you don’t have any valid reason to call (like work and what-have-you.) Take down notes if you must, so as not to forget. Make the conversation light, enjoyable and full of subtle humor so as not to bore both of you to death.
3. End the conversation by casually saying something like “I have to go, but hey, I heard about this great coffee shop down 3rd. We could get some coffee, if you’re free then.” I know of some guys who employ this type of attack because according to them, it takes off the “date pressure” feeling they have when about to ask a girl out.
If after the conversation, she expresses an interest to go out with you, then try to quickly wrap-up any details you need to smooth out and end the call. Prolonging it might lead to a number of clumsy pauses and you wouldn’t want that to happen.
If you feel though that she doesn’t want you for even a coffee date, then don’t let it dampen your spirits. Give her some time and try calling her again after a couple more days. If again she says “no”, then just be a friend. Who knows? Maybe sometime within your friendship, she might have a certain friend she’ll have you meet who is just perfect for you.